Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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