Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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