the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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