real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i believe in u and ur pee
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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