Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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