At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
