i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want to have your abortion
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
