just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
