all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize