I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize