she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Randomize
