Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize