so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
