Plan B is the new Plan A
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
