he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
