All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
