I'm lost and stupid without you.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
