Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
