Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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