its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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