Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
