1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
3 2 1 whiskey
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
