you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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