we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize