While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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