Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
