adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
