But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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