You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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