Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
