I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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