My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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