the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
