She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
