Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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