Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
