Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I will pee on everything he values.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
