I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
