just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
