Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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