she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
