i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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