FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
