You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
