so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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