Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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