I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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