i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
