I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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