Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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