Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You don't have asthma, your pregnant

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(845): View more from New York

If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

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(602): View more from Arizona

So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.

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(607): View more from New York

When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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(805): View more from California

I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️

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(353): View more from

Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?

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