is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
