I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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