i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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