So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
