I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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