Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
