You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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