worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
