i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
