I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Are we still banned from the library?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
