I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
