Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
