What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
